Throw the Teller a Curveball

It’s certainly not enough to retire on, not enough to even take a year off to travel the world, but it was enough to throw the teller for a loop.

“Where did you get this?” he said, after turning the check over several times.

“It’s an insurance settlement from a motorcycle accident. I got it from the insurance company.”

He turned the check over several more times, punched a few keys on his computer terminal, held it up and showed it to the teller next to him, picked up the phone and punched a few numbers on the keypad, then stood up and said “Wait here a minute,” and walked away.

He came from behind the glass and walked to an information kiosk where he was joined by several other tellers, all dressed in blue T-shirts for “Customer Appreciation Day.” They formed a circle around the check and looked it over. One of them sat down and entered some information into a computer.

As I stood around waiting, feeling like a criminal, I was approached by another young man in a blue T-shirt, “Here,” he said, handing me a 69 cent pen with the bank’s logo printed on its side. “It’s customer appreciation day.”

“Thanks,” I said, “I’ve been a customer for over twenty years. I was wondering when I’d get a pen.”

The first teller came over and apologized for taking so long, but said they weren’t sure how to verify the check. “Have you ever gotten one of these before?” he said.

“No,” I said. “I wish.”

“That’s the problem. Wait here,” he said, and then rejoined the gaggle of tellers to continue their investigation.

Finally the teller returned to his seat behind the glass, processed the check and handed me a receipt. “Here you go. Have a nice day.”

As I started to leave, two blue-shirts called me over, “Sir, excuse me, sir.”

Now what

“We were just looking at your account and noticed you’re not enrolled in our debit card reward program. It’s absolutely free. You earn points every time you use your debit card to make purchases. You can then use those rewards to buy all kinds of things. It’s free. Would you like to sign up. It only takes a minute.”

“Sure, fine.”

Afterwards they handed me a bag of junk: another pen, a water bottle, a keychain.

“Thanks.”

Now, if I spend a couple of thousand dollars with my debit card, I can get a free basketball!

With the check safely in the bank, I headed home. “How do you like my motorcycle now?” I said to Deborah, when I showed her the deposit receipt.

“Next time you might not be so lucky,” she said.