Mr mushroom has nothing to do with anything you are about to read.

What a weird, mondo bizzaro day I had today. Where do I start? I guess at the beginning…
I got up, cleaned up around the apartment a little bit, went for breakfast…then went down to Bedford street to stop by this bookstore where my friend Jonny works. We’ve been trying to hang out but we keep playing phone tag so I figured I would stop in to see him at work, say hi and make plans from there. Anyway, I get there and the store is closed, but there are bunch of people milling about… It seems they’re filming a movie of some sort in the bookstore…I find Jonny outside and we try to have a little chat, but this guy keeps calling out, “quiet, rolling!” and then we’re supposed to be quiet. So after a few minutes of that, I couldn’t take it anymore… I said goodbye and walked to the subway. As I’m walking a car with a camera mounted on it drives by filming the street, including me as I walk along. I flipped them off and one of the guys on the truck gives me a dirty look. Fuck ‘em. I don’t want to be in their stupid movie. I walked to the subway and headed into Manhattan.

I had to go to Chinatown to pick up this fancy thing that I ordered for a friend of mine. Canal street is a fucking nightmare! I don’t know how to describe it other than that it’s like the entire population of China crammed onto a few blocks. Mayhem. I got run down by this tiny Chinese girl who was in some kind of rush trying to get past me…but she couldn’t get anywhere because of the crowd, so when I was standing behind her I tripped her up a little bit. Not enough to make her fall, y’know, just enough to giver her an adreniline rush. I know that it’s bad karma for me, but someone had to dole out the karma for her…and if it means I get tripped up a little in the future I think I can handle it.

I made it back home just in time to meet the the landlord and the real estate guy. One by one all these people with appointments come to look at the place. Ugh! It sucked. Then this lady from across the street comes to look…she had an appointment, but I don’t think she was really interested…just a nosy neighbor. But you see, I have some naked photos and paintings that I’ve done up on my walls. This lady was too klassy with a “K” to appreciate it and so as she was leaving she said to me , “shocking!” I thought she was kind of joking and I laughed…”shocking?” I aked…”Yes, shocking!” she said all stern and straightfaced before she huffed out. Good riddance bitch. I didn’t invite you in to judge my taste and lifestyle! In fact, I didn’t invite you in at all, so go take a flying fuck at the moon!

All the appointments were done just in time for me to leave and meet with this girl down the street who I had plans to meet with…except that the upstairs neighbor’s cats were loose in my apartment somewhere and my neighbor and I had to spend about 15 minutes trying to round them up. Needless to say, I was late. When I got there the girl was standing outside in the cold because the place I picked to meet wasn’t open yet. Oops…shit. So we went somewhere else. We hung out for about two hours and then I had to rush out because of The (International) Noise Conspiracy show at 8. My friend who was supposed to meet me bailed at the last minute, so I wound up giving the other ticket away. I said, “who wants a ticket?” And this hipster dude says, “I do! How much do you want for it?” I tore it off and handed it to him and said, “Nothing” and walked in. So I balanced out my karma a little. Maybe. Then when I got in I realized that there were 4 bands ahead of INC and I was so bummed. That meant they weren’t going to be going on until, like, midnight at the earliest…a long night at a club by myself. So I had some drinks and found a couple of people I recognized from the neighborhood to talk to. The other bands sucked. SUCKED! Besides the fact that the sound at Warsaw is such garbagy mush, the bands themselves were so lame. One was a hardcore frat boy band. I’m surprised the coach let them stay up long enough to play. They smashed their guitars and drums and all that other tired rock and roll bullshit. Umm…didn’t Pete Townsend do that 30 years ago? I mean, I know that everything old is new again, but really, it’s time for a new schtick. Besides any real punk rockers I know don’t have the cash to smash their stuff. I got stuck standing behind an old guy with a huge festering carbuncle on the back of his nobby skull. I wanted to squeeze it to see if it would honk like a clown nose, but I was afraid that if I gave it a tweek that baby spiders would hatch out of it. So I moved away from him. Then finally INC came on and they kicked so much ass that I forgot all about life for a little while. Except that I had to stick a bunched up piece of napkin in my left ear. If it’s to loud, you’re too old…yeah, whatever. Now I’m home, checked my e mail and found a very interesting message with an intriguing business opportunity. No, it’s not “how to get rich working from your home”… Well..no…wait a minute…it is! But it’s for real. Whew…that’s a long boring post.

This picture is funny because even though the girl in the band is fucking hot as hell…she is in no way the ‘front person’. Whatever. I mean the band rocks, don’t get me wrong, but it’s just kind of funny that they have all these revolutionalry-political-anti-capitalist lyrics and then they go and fall into the same old trap of capitalizing on the pretty girl. You can’t blame them really. Even tthough the rest of the band was pretty cool in that mod swedish fagged out fashion sense kinda way, they were simply not in the same league as her.. And another thing, for an anti capitalist band, they sure did have a lot of crap to sell.